JG Judgementally Comments...

Goldfinger

It’s Goldfinger! But does the movie live up to it’s totemic reputation?

Pre-existing prejudices: It’s Goldfinger. Also, for reasons best kept to myself, I’m aware that Fleming named the bad guy in the book after the Brutalist/modernist architect Erno Goldfinger because Fleming so despised his concrete buildings. And obviously, this contains a string of clichés even someone who has never seen a Bond movie would know – Pussy Galore, Odd-Job, “No, Mr Bond, I expect you to die!” and so forth. Whatever else you can say about this film, its place as part of the cultural lexicon is unshakeable, and that must mean something. Let’s find out what!

The Actual Movie:

As with From Russia With Love, we immediately start with the gun barrel opening still where it should be, and with the appropriate theme.

And as with the last film, we get a pre-credits sequence, though unlike the last film this one has absolutely no relevance to the movie whatsoever. Bond swims into a harbour with a duck on his head – not the perfect disguise, and more than a little dignity-stripping. Still, there’s no obfuscation here as there was with From Russia With Love, and the Bond theme has piped up before the two-minute mark (and again to delineate action, which is now its sole use). But we’re all action here as Bond breaks into the wherever-he-is and plans to blow it up. His bomb clock timer is rather sweet, an alarm clock with a big square battery, attached to Big Red Barrels of Nitro.

Doctor Who Christmas Special – “Joy To The World”

Christmas Specials are back! But is there anything actually special about it?

What’s The Episode? The Christmas 2024 special, “Joy To The World”.

What’s It All About, JG? The Doctor (Ncuti Gatwa) arrives at a Time Hotel where a briefcase with ideas above its station is possessing then killing the wearer as it upgrades it access. He nips into one of the rooms in the Time Hotel which leads to a 21^st century Earth hotel room and Joy (Nicola Coughlan), who’s alone on Christmas. In attempting to rescue her, he gets stuck on Earth for a year living a normal life with unflappable hotel owner Anita (Steph de Whalley). Once the plot resumes, he discovers that the suitcase houses a star seed from Big Evil Arms Corp Villengard. The plan is to use the Time Hotel to detonate it in the past, give it time to grown, and sell it as an unlimited power source. The Doctor stops this – well, Joy does really, by allowing herself to take the star seed into her, be killed, also somehow save the other people we’ve seen the briefcase kill and her Mum as well, who died in hospital (implicitly of Covid but certainly during the time of Covid at least). And the star’s detonation happened over Bethlehem in the year 0001, in what we are assured is a “twist”.

From Russia With Love

James Bond is back! But can the second outing live up to the promise of the first?

For the first time, James Bond Is Back! After the success of Dr No, a second film was all but a certainty, so here it is. Connery’s still in the title role, M is still in the big leather office, and Moneypenny’s still manning the phones, so everything’s in place.

Pre-existing Prejudices
As with Dr No, personally few. I definitely haven’t seen this in over two decades, though I know this is lots of people’s favourite from the Connery era, and often just their favourite full stop. For me, it’s the one with the Lesbian Russian Spy Lady and her bladed footwear, the fight in the train carriage, and Blofeld’s first appearance, but that’s about it.

The Actual Movie
Again I must break my own self-imposed rule and mention the title sequence, because right away the film opens with the famous gun barrel sequence, this time with the correct Bond theme playing over it, not screechy electronics, and Connery firing at the camera. The extent to which this makes it feel like a real Bond movie is hard to overstate.

Dr No

Back where Bond became Bond. But is Dr No a good film or just the place where it all starts?

Where it all began! After apparently every actor to ever appear on screen being offered the role, Sean Connery eventually steps into the tux and brings British secret agent James Bond to life for the very first time, in the role that will go on to define his entire career .

Pre-existing Prejudices
Surprisingly few. I’ve seen this film, but I doubt I’ve seen it in… thirty years maybe? Longer? I definitely saw it as a kid, and probably I even liked it, but beyond a few random images I have almost no memory of this at all.

Godzilla Minus One

Godzilla’s back and, for the very first time, Oscar-nominated! But does G-1 deserve the plaudits?

What’s The Movie? Godzilla Minus One

What’s It All About, JG? In 1945, a kamikaze pilot, Kōichi Shikishima (Ryunosuke Kamiki), lands his plane at a repair station on Odo Island, pretending it’s malfunctioning in order to avoid completing his mission. While there, Godzilla (a relatively small version) emerges and smashes the place to smithereens. Shikishima is ordered to his plane to use the gun but freezes up and can’t open fire so almost the whole population is wiped out. Returning to Tokyo and riddled with survivor’s guilt, he first discovers his parents have been killed, then takes in Noriko Ōishi and the orphaned baby she’s caring for. Over the course of a year they slowly grow closer while Shikishima gets a job clearing mines with a whacky collection of crew (“Doc”, “The Kid”) that both sides put down during the war. At the same time, the nuclear testing mutates Godzilla and he becomes a… bigger rampaging monster? Yep! They witness Godzilla destroy a naval ship then it heads landward to wreck as much of Japan as the special effects budget can stretch to. During this attack, Noriko sacrifices herself to save Shikishima. Finally, Godzilla uses its heat ray to trigger what is very obviously a nuclear explosion, before returning to the sea. Doc, along with a collection of citizens and some decommissioned ships, contrives a plan to take out Godzilla by sinking it to the bottom of the sea and then shooting it back up again while Shikishima distracts it from the air in the lone plane Japan has post World War II. Shikishima, now suicidal after the loss of Noriko, sees this as his chance to redeem the deaths on Odo Island, and once Godzilla has been sunk and resurfaced, flies the plane loaded with explosives into Godzilla’s mouth… only to eject at the last second. Godzilla is stopped and, in the final scene, we discover Norkio survived and is in hospital.

And in the final shot… Godzilla survived too.

Cal Pep, Barcelona

A seafood place in Bareclona – but can it swim against the tide of tourist traps and mediocrity?

What’s The Restaurant? Cal Pep, in Barcelona’s El Born area.

What’s It All About, JG? It’s a seafood restaurant. Remarkable, I hear you cry. But yes, it is indeed remarkable. It’s been in business in the El Born region of Barcelona for over forty years, during which time it’s reputation has grown and grown until it’s reached it’s current level. That level being “extremely high”.

Now let’s be honest, seafood places aren’t exactly something Barcelona is hurting for – there’s about a bajillion of them. But with a city like Barcelona, the key is to get away from all the tourist traps that lurk around La Rambla and similar areas and find something that’s actually able to provide amazing food. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a “for locals only” place or whatever – something too many food writers try to put too much emphasis on in order to come across as “superior” and knowledgeable – it just needs to have good quality food that doesn’t fall into tourist levels of mediocrity.

One Hand Clapping – Paul McCartney and Wings

After 50 years the movie version of One Hand Clapping finally sees a cinematic release. But was it worth the wait?

What’s The Movie? One Hand Clapping

What’s It All About, JG? It’s an in-the-studio recording of one of (many) Wings line-ups, this ~~week~~ time including Geoff Britton on drums and Jimmy McCulloch on guitar, alongside regulars Denny Laine, Paul McCartney, and Linda McCartney. We get to see them messing about in the studio, running through a few tracks, faffing about in the control room and so on. There’s also “The Backyard” tacked on the end, which is literally McCartney sitting in Abbey Road’s backyard with an acoustic guitar, running through a small handful of classic rock and roll numbers. The whole thing is topped and tailed by 2024-vintage McCartney doing a specially-recorded introduction.

Hades

A game that isn’t just more Zelda! But can Hades capture the imagination the same way Hyrule could?

What’s The Game? Hades

What’s It All About, JG? It’s a roguelike dungeon-crawler released in 2020 by Supergiant Games, and if your eyes are glazing over already, wait, come back! You play Zagreus (I’ve heard that name before somewhere), son of Hades, of Greek myth. He’s trying to escape the Underworld, feeling unloved by his father, and to make it to the mortal realm and his mother, Persephone. Alongside the action, the story gradually unfolds, as Zagreus finds out more about his Olympian family, who help him along the way. The Underworld is divided into three distinct regions, each of which will contain a randomly generated series of rooms which Zagreus has to hack and slash his way through to move on to the next level. Each region has an end-of-level boss of increasing difficulty, the defeat of which allows access to the next level. Once all three have been defeated, there’s a final series of quickie rooms, then the Final Big Boss. But who could he possibly be?

Jet Lag: The Game

Can Jet Lag: The Game be a YouTube series that’s worth spending time on? You better believe it!

What’s The Show? A first for this blog – a YouTube series, Jet Lag: The Game

What’s It All About, JG? It’s a travel competition, starring Sam Denby, Adam Chase, and Ben Doyle. Each season of the show centre around a different type of game – Tag, Connect Four, Capture The Flag, that sort of thing. These are played out over different geographical areas, so Connect Four involved capturing four American states in a diagonal or row as per the game, Tag involves trying to tag one of the other players while they each try to make their way to an end point somewhere in Europe. You get the idea. Tag has been done twice, actually – Tag Across Europe – but every other season has been unique in its gameplay. Sometimes the play area is a country, with the most recent series at time of writing playing out across Australia, sometimes it’s the whole planet, as with Race Around The World. Most seasons feature a guest of some description (except for the Tag seasons and Hide and Seek, which just feature the boys), with Ben and Adam comprising one team and Sam and whoever the guest is making up the other. The show is shot on iPhones, giving it an immediate, reportage, feel. In every iteration of the game, though, teams or individuals must complete tasks in order to earn money to allow them to travel. Thus it becomes a strategy of what you can earn and where you can go to secure the ultimate victory.

Star Trek: Discovery – Season 5

Star Trek: Discovey bows out with a fifth, final, season. But can it manage a late-in-the-day turnaround?

What’s the Show? Star Trek: Discovery and it’s fifth and final season.

What’s It All About, JG? Well, it’s a quest, innit? The crew of the Discovery are sent on a “red directive” to investigate a Romulan science vessel from 800 years in the past, where they chance upon two couriers, Moll and L’ak, who find a journal. This relates to the Progenitors tech from the TNG episode “The Chase”. The journal provides clues and whoever can track down all of them gets the technology they used. This is, of course, awesomely powerful. Book gets roped back in because he’s on the show, the Breen get involved as the Big Bad and want to use it as a weapon, and the Federation want it to stop it being misused and also cuz they’re da best. The rest of the season is a runaround to establish who will get all the bits and thus the tech. After a lot of episodes of “find the thing”, Michael Burnham (who else?) manages to secure the tech but decides nobody should have it so casts it away. Then Saru gets married. Then we get a flash-forward to Burnam and Book being married with a son, and Burnam taking the Discovery to a new location and leaving it there for a long time to away a new red directive.