Mando and Grogu finally get their first movie outing. But can they charm on the big screen as well as the small one?
What’s The Movie? The (first?) Mandalorian and Grogu movie, The Mandalorian and Grogu
What’s It All About, JG? Following the events of both Return of the Jedi and The Mandalorian (and, I suppose we have to acknowledge, The Book of Boba Fett) Mando and Grogu are doing missions for the former Rebellion / New Republic. This leads Mando to accept a contract to rescue Rotta the Hutt, Jabba’s son in order to get information The Hutt Twins, who have taken over Jabba’s criminal enterprise following his death in Return of the Jedi. Cue a couple of hours of shenanigans as Mando and Grogu try to rescue someone who doesn’t need rescuing (then very definitely does), a visit to the Twins’ planet, more creatures than you can shake a stick at, and an ending that very much promises us more fun in this little side pocket of Star Wars.
What’s The Movie? The 2025 movie I forgot to watch, Good Luck, Have Fun, Don’t Die
What’s It All About, JG? A nameless man from the future (Sam Rockwell) arrives in a Los Angeles diner, ranting about being there to save the world and needing to recruit people from the diner to help him do that. AI destroys the world in the future, and he’s travelled back in time to install some safety protocols in the software before it becomes self-aware to ensure that humanity survives. If that sounds a bit Terminator-y, well, you’re not wrong. Anyway, the man grabs a motley connection of people – including a couple of teachers, a kids-party princess, a lonely woman who just wants pie, among others – and they escape the diner after the cops get called. They’re hunting for the “daddy of the AI”, a 9 year old boy who created it. After overcoming a collection of sometimes-funny, sometimes-surreal, sometimes-violent mishaps, they find the boy’s house, only to discover that the AI is creating itself. It turns out the man from the future is the son of one of the women he took from the diner – Ingrid, the Princess (Haley Lu Richardson). Ingrid’s allergic to technology but forces herself to install the safety protocols. Thinking they’ve succeeded, they go outside to celebrate, only for the man to see they’ve been tricked. He realises the security protocols don’t work, so zaps back to the future with a new plan – infect the world with Ingrid’s tech allergy via rats. He reappears at the diner from the start of the film, and the whole loop begins again.
Can Ryan Gosling save the sun with the aid of a sentient pebble?
What’s It All About, JG? The Earth’s sun and almost all nearby stars are getting eaten by microbes – a plot so believable it’s possible it was a rejected sequel to The Core – but it’s discovered that one isn’t. That means it’s down to a small team of astronauts to go figure out why. Unfortunately, only one survives the trip, Ryland Grace (Ryan Gosling), and he’s got amnesia, the better to explain the plot in flashbacks. Orbiting Tau Ceti e, the only star without Space Cooties, he encounters a stone-like alien he dubs Rocky. Between the two of them, they have to figure out how to save the sun (well, lots of suns), get their cure back to their respective civilisations, and survive long enough for a feel-good ending. Do they make it? Yes. Yes they do.
Superman is back! But can the character still work in a modern context?
What’s the Movie?Superman, 2025 version
What’s It All About, JG? Superman (David Corinswet) stops Jarhanpur from being invaded by Boravia, a US ally, and, as a result, gets his ass kicked and is defeated for the very first time by a metahuman going by the name of The Hammer of Boravia (which sounds like some kind of black metal band). Landing in Antarctica, he retreats to the Fortress of Solitude – or rather is dragged there by his dog, Krypto – before returning to the fight, unaware that he’s been followed. Later, after Luthor releases a monster in Metropolis to distract Superman and the “Justice Gang” (Green Lantern, Hawk Girl, Mr Terrific), The Engineer (Maria Gabriela de Faria) and Lex Luthor (Nicholas Holt) break in and The Engineer uses the nanotechnology in her body to hack the computer system there. They discover that a damaged message from Superman’s parents contains a second half where they tell Superman he should rule over humanity ruthlessly. Luthor uses this to destroy public support for Superman and ultimately captures him in a pocket universe using Metamorpho (Anthony Carrigan), who can create kryptonite with his body.
Superman escapes, saving Metamorpho’s son in the process, while Mr Terrific and Lois Lane (Rachel Brosnahan) find a way into the pocket universe so they can escape. A demoralised Superman returns to Ma and Pa Kent, who tell him it’s what he does that makes him who he is, not some silly message. This gives Superman enough hope that he stops Luthor, who has unleashed a dimensional rift and wants to start the war between Boravia and Jarhanpur, so he could have half of Jarhanpur after. Turns out he’s cloned Superman (which is how he got into the Fortress of Solitude) and used him as the Hammer of Boravia, and the whole scheme was just to take down Superman anyway. He doesn’t, and Krypto – the true hero of this film – takes him down.
It’s Roger’s first time in the tux! But does Live and Let Die manage to get the struggling movie series back on track?
Connery’s gone! Yes, again! So rather than a hard-nosed Scot or a slightly effete Australian, step forward instead the debonair, smooth and decidedly English Roger Moore, who takes over the role for the first time. But can his first outing hit the highs of Connery’s tenure? Or will he get lost in the slush like Lazenby?
Pre-Existing Prejudices
Well it’s the Blaxploitation one, isn’t it? James Bond coming up against the then-popular genre certainly isn’t an obvious combination, and there’s no denying the Bond series has generally struggled when it comes to displaying other cultures. I haven’t seen this in a very long time, so whether the racial or cultural politics stand the test of time I don’t know, but I do at least remember a few decent performances. And one which very, very much isn’t (can you guess who that might be?)
The second of three exits for Connery but is this one any better than his first effort to leave the role?
Connery’s back! After Lazenby’s attack of ego / poor management advise-inspired decision to turn down a contract for several more Bond movies, Connery steps back into the role after having a metric fucktonne of money thrown at him to persuade him to do so. But now the first Bond has returned to the role, will the movie sparkle as brightly as the titular diamonds?
Connery’s gone, Lazenby’s in but can he convince as a Bond for the ages or will his Service no longer be required?
For the first time in the series, “James Bond Will Return” means Bond but not the actor playing him, as Connery gives way to George Lazenby’s one-and-done attempt to take over the title role. But is his poor reputation deserved, and does one of the most forgotten of all Bond films deserved to be relegated to “oh yeah, that one” status?
Pre-Existing Prejudices:
If I’ve seen this one all the way through then I have absolutely no memory of it. I know the famous final scene well enough, and a couple of set-pieces, but beyond that… blank. So Lazenby is going to get a fair crack of the whip, if nothing else – I honestly have no idea how good or otherwise he is in the role, nor anything else about him at all, really. I’m rather keen to watch what amounts to an entirely new Bond, so let’s get on with it!
It’s the first of three “last Bond movies” for Connery but will it give him an exist he deserves?
Pre-existing Prejudices: Well, I know it’s the first of three “last” Bond movies for Connery, I know it’s the one with the volcano base, and I know it’s the one where we finally get to meet Blofeld. But it’s another I haven’t seen in its entirety for… actually I don’t know if I’ve ever seen it in its entity. Should be fun then!
The Actual Film:
Ohhh, we start in space! Or at least a painting of the Earth around which a small, unconvincing model is orbiting. That’s certainly something new. The spacewalk scenes are obviously man-on-wire but they’re ambitious, and points scored for having the Earth actually rotate beneath them as they “orbit”. But then the capsule is attacked by a giant butt-plug/spaceship eater. They’re doing their best, and the model-work is clear enough in what it’s trying to achieve, but the special effects are bit more Gerry Anderson than 2001. The American capsule is drawn inside the mysterious new craft, and the astronaut left dead in space when his airline is cut is suitably nasty, as he floats away forever. Cut to a conference inside two golf balls, and a bit of UK/USSR/US politicking. The Americans and Russians accuse each other, but the UK thinks there might be a third possibility. Hmmm…
After redefining what a Bond movie could do with Goldfinger, can Thunderball keep up the momentum or is it a bit of a damp squb?
Pre-existing Prejudices: None. I remember next to nothing about Thunderball, beyond Tom Jones’s attempts to drown out timpani on the theme song (“so he strikes! DUH-DUH-DUH-DA-DUUUUUH! Like Thunnnnnnnnnnnderball!”), and the inevitable fact that it’s the one with all the underwater action sequences. So a fairly clean slate, then. Let’s see how it goes!
The Actual Movie
We open on a funeral, which is at least a new start for a Bond movie. Bond appears to actually be on point here, and it’s a reasonable fake-out that the flag covering the coffin has the initials JB on it – but not Our Mr Bond, of course, but instead SPECTRE agent Jaques Bouvar (yes, we’re in France). Cut to – country house and Bond guessing that Bouvar’s “widow” is actually the man himself in widow’s clothes after faking his own death… Bond works this out because he opens the car door himself, whereas the widow would have waited to have it opened for her. What, women can’t open car doors? What the fuck, Thunderball?
Another old TV show gets dragged out of the past with a big remake but can The Fall Guy provide the requisite thrills and spills? Er…
What’s The Movie? The Ryan Gosling-starring The Fall Guy
What’s It All About, JG? Dunno. Oh all right, Colt Seavers (Ryan Gosling) is a stuntman who doubles for famous action star Tom Ryder (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) and who is pining after cameraperson Jody Moreno (Emily Blunt). When a stunt goes wrong and he breaks his back, Colt vanishes in shame and Jody goes on to become a big-shot director. Eighteen months later, he’s persuaded back into his old job for a sci-fi epic being shot in Sydney and directed by Jody. Under the (false) impression she asked for him, he heads over, only to find the real reason he’s been brought to the set is that Tom has fallen in with a bad crowd and has gone missing and Jody’s film is over budget and in danger of being closed down. Mmm. Anyway, Colt investigates while slowly getting back together with Jody (often very slowly) until he finds out Tom accidentally killed someone and wants to use Colt as the fall guy (heh) to take the blame. The rest of the film is just Tom getting caught by Colt, incriminating himself and producer Gail Myer (Hannah Waddingham), who was in on the conspiracy. And of course, Colt and Jody reconcile. The movie is finished, Jason Mamoa becomes the replacement star in what is presumably meant to be a funny moment, and that’s your lot apart from the inevitable mid-credits scene where Lee Majors and Heather Thomas from the original show crop up for a cameo.
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