Barbie

What’s the Movie? Barbie

What’s It All About, JG? Stereotypical Barbie (Margot Robbie) lives a perfect life in Barbieland with lots of other different Barbies and Kens. One day she has strange, rather existential thoughts about dying and her world slowly moves away from its perfect state as she becomes more human. To correct this, she visits Weird Barbie (Kate McKinnon) who advises her to go to The Real World and figure out who’s playing with her and fix the problem. Travelling to the real work (well, LA) with Ken (Ryan Gosling), Barbie is shocked to discover that men run the world, feminism hasn’t been solved and that the girl she thought was playing with her, Sasha (Ariana Greenblatt), in fact hates her. Turns out it was the girl’s Mum, Gloria, (America Ferrera) that loved playing with the doll and, after escaping from Mattel, they all return to Barbieland. However, Ken has learned about the patriarchy and tries to overthrow the rule of the various Barbies by having men – men! – take control. With guile, cunning and intelligence, the various Barbies defeat the men and “our” Barbie chooses to leave the perfection of Barbieland behind for the real world and becomes human.

Why Did You Give It A Go? I mean, hasn’t everyone?

Is It Any Good? Oh yeah, of course, it is, but you probably know that by now, right? It seems the only people that have anything bad to say about the movie are right-wing assholes who wouldn’t ever enjoy a movie about a woman being allowed to make her own choices independent of anything or anyone else. And that’s great, obviously.

The story of Barbie’s self-actualisation is ridiculously well put together for a movie based on a doll. It’s a genuine, true emotional journey and it’s fantastic. Margot Robbie is, naturally, perfect casting and does an incredible but – crucially – credible job of bringing across first the doubt, then the determination of Barbie as she’s forced to face up to a world that she simply cannot comprehend. And then has to win back the one she does.

But where Barbie really scores is that it isn’t just about Barbie being free of expectation so she can live her own life, it’s true of the Kens as well. We are literally introduced to the Gosling Ken while the voiceover asserts he can’t have a good day unless Barbie notices him. There are a lot of gags about patriarchy but the fact the movie takes the time to demonstrate that it’s a bad thing for men as well as for the women oppressed under it is both genuinely unexpected and excellently realised. It takes the movie from being “just” about feminism and women taking their place in the world into something altogether more clever. It’s easy to take a subject like the patriarchy and see it from a single perspective – by giving Barbie more than one it instantly elevates the movie into more than just being a straightforward polemic (not that there’s anything wrong with a straightforward polemic).

Some of the work done is subtle, and some of it is very much not, but both approaches succeed and give the movie a depth that just doesn’t seem likely for, lest we forget, a Barbie movie. The rivalry between Gosling’s “Beach” Ken and Simu Liu’s Tourist Ken is shown to be pointlessly destructive to both when the Barbies set them against each other, even while it’s happening during a big song-and-dance number. The patriarchy, again, is shown to be no better for men than it is for women.

And that’s what makes the movie so clever. It’s a genuinely insightful piece of filmmaking wrapped up inside more pink than you can shake a stick at. And while it would certainly be wrong to describe it as a perfect movie, it’s one that is so, so much better than it has any right to be. The, ahem, MCU (Mattel Cinematic Universe) is unlikely to be able to maintain this level of quality, given the films already announced in Barbie‘s wake, but even if they aren’t nothing can take away just want an unexpectedly delightful triumph this is.

How Many Of These Have You Seen? None. Which is to say, I’ve never seen any of the animated Barbie movies and I’m quite alright with that state of affairs.

Would You Recommend It? Obviously. Of course. Absolutely. It’s simply a terrific piece of work and it’s hard to… well. I was going to say, “It’s hard to find much wrong with it” but that isn’t strictly true. There are a few flaws here and there and they are worth mentioning.

It seems strange to bemoan character development in a doll movie but in truth, both Sasha and Gloria are relatively thin characters. This is glossed over to a certain extent by the fact that Ariana Greenblatt and, especially, America Ferrera are terrific in the role but still – there’s not a lot of meat on the bones for either of them. Gloria gets one big speech about how difficult it is being a woman, and Ferrera knocks it out of the park with a genuinely spine-tingling moment. But one killer speech isn’t quite the same as actual character development. Sasha goes from an anti-everything emo-bitch to being perfectly fine with everything in a movie so suddenly it could give you whiplash but, again, it’s not really development it’s just she’s a mean girl in the first scene she’s in – because the movie requires that – then isn’t. It’s a real shame a bit more isn’t done with either character.

Alan’s a slight problem too. Not, to be clear, Michael Cera, who’s as reliably brilliant as he always is, but the character is never not the butt of a joke or punchline for a put-down. In a movie that strives so hard to be inclusive and appreciates the value in everything, it’s a bit undermining to have Alan as a constant reminder of the movie than not doing that. The jokes are often funny but that’s not really the point.

Oh, and speaking of pointless, that voiceover from Helen Mirren (!). Why? It’s not really giving us detail that couldn’t otherwise be delivered and the movie drops it about halfway through, apparently unable to think of any other funny lines or useful things it might contribute. There’s always a sense it’s going to go somewhere or impact something, then it… doesn’t. It’s a bit of an odd choice.

But honestly, these are, in the grand scheme of things, pretty minor quibbles. There’s just so much panache about proceedings that the few missteps the film does have are easy to overlook because it gets pretty much everything else right. Oh, and one thing the film definitely gets right? The runtime. Putting the credits to one side, the movie clocks in and just a little over an hour and a half. There’s nothing wrong with long films, of course, but there’s still something incredibly refreshing about one that’s pretty much just a tight ninety or so minutes, does what it needs to do, and gets out without being overlong or descending into self-indulgence.

And you know what? I haven’t even mentioned Rhea Perlman yet. She has such a small role, yet it’s so pivotal and she nails it. It’s another unexpected yet absolutely terrific casting choice and she brings real dignity and warmth to a role that needs to be done right. It’s a lovely performance from a consistently-underrated actor and Perlman deserves so much credit for it.

And then there’s that very last scene, which doubtless caused a degree of consternation and controversy with what I shall politely refer to as “some people”. But it is the perfect conclusion to the film. The whole film is about Barbie’s self-discovery and self-actualisation. And now, with her gynaecologist appointment, she has completed that journey – from being nothing more than an empty-headed caricature to being a fully-realised woman. Really, what other ending could there have been?

It’s a fantastic, daring ending to a fantastic, daring movie. There’s no need for a Barbie movie to be this good. There’s no need for it to be good at all. And yet it is. So very, very good. It’s as smart, well-thought-out and intelligent a movie as one could hope for in 20 23. All power to the pink!

Oh, but no sequel thanks. Not everything has to be a series.

Scores On The Doors? 8.5/10