Star Trek – Picard: Season 1, Episode Three

Punch it, Starbuck! No wait…

Episode 3 – “The End Is The Beginning”

More of the same.

Any Other Business:

• OK fine, I’m being a bit facetious. But really, I don’t know what more to say about this episode, it’s just Episode 2 but more. Picard speech, Stuff On A Cube, you know.

• Um. I mean, it’s not that this is bad, but the episode could have been entitled “Furniture Movers!” Subtitle – “Does your furniture need moving around? Call us for low, low prices! Wait, not prices, no money in the future. Eh, you know what we mean”.

• Oh good, lengthy flashbacks, my favourite narrative device! *rolls eyes hard enough to see own brain*

• But fine, we get Raffi introduced and a whole massive chunk of backstory as we get the fallout from what happened on Mars. We are orbiting Planet Exposition and beaming down to Character Backstory Island as the whole lot is dispensed in inelegant, hard-to-swallow chunks. Raffi seems like a good character but her introduction and explanation is the weakest thing Picard has done to date.

• Last week on Picard reviewing – “Vasquez Rock! It’s Vazquez Rock!”  This week on Picard reviewing – “Hey they actually put up a caption identifying it as actually Vasquez Rock!” Cute, show.

• Narek admits he’s in love with Soji but we know it’s not true because he’s using her, or manipulating her because he’s a (hot, don’t forget hot) spy. You know, like last week.

• Look I understand that “Oh” is a proper surname, but because of the way the actors deliver it – that is, not very well – it never fails to sound like the setup to an Airplane or Police Squad! gag – “And this is Commodore Oh” “Oh really?” Yes, really Oh!” “Oh, sure” “No, really !” (etc)

• There’s some kind of crazy Romulan mystic who is recovering from assimilation, positions triangular cards on a table, may or may not have some idea of what’s going on, seems to inspire plot-handy revelations in visitors and generally hangs around like she should be covered in about a dozen cats. Crazy Romulan Cat Lady, is what I’m saying.

• There’s a shoot-out at Picard’s chateau. I appreciate the effort to try and inject some life into proceedings around all the speeches and ponderous declarations that make up the bulk of the episode, but it’s all very flatly directed. TOS had more exciting phaser battles.

• Although speaking of speeches there’s a few decent ones, though one suspects the episode may lean rather more on them because there’s really not much else happening. It’s all just vamping until we get to the end of episode “engage”, lest Picarcd get to the Cube too early and start resolving the plot.

• “Engage” Yes, please! Engage!

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